Riley Roo

I was married for 18 years. Throughout my marriage, my husband, children and I had several pets. We were divorced 2 years ago and at the time we had Riley and Jasmine (aka Miss Kitty). I don’t think anyone can ever fully understand the fallout from divorce, but during the decision making and throughout the process, you try to consider every aspect of your feelings, those of your children and your soon-to-be ex-spouse, and there is a great deal of  logistical planning. Although we had an amicable divorce and spent a great deal of time in easing the transition for our children,  it turned out that we hadn’t given the feelings of 2 members of the family enough consideration. Our dog and our cat. I know it may sound absurd to some of you, but we ended up in a real pickle when it came to those 2. As most of your readers know by now- Riley and Jasmine (aka Miss Kitty) are very attached to one another.

This is how it went

Plan A – I would keep the cat, he would take the dog, we would cover one another with pet-sitting if either of us was traveling. It seemed like a good plan at the time.

 Within weeks of separating the two it was clear that neither of our pets was happy. Our normally energetic dog was “depressed”. My ex-husband called me frequently to tell me that Riley was not acting like himself. Miss Kitty was none too happy either. She seemed lost without her partner in crime.

Plan B –  I would still keep the cat and we would share the dog. For months Riley went back and forth every time the children did. Initially, Riley seemed a bit better. He would perk up the first day he came back to my house and saw his cat. By the second or 3rd day he seemed miserable again. Although happy to be with his cat, he was having a hard time being away from his master. Miss Kitty was more herself as Riley was at least home some of the time, but she was definately cranky on days when Riley wasn’t here.

Plan C – Both Riley and Miss Kitty would go live with my ex-husband and I would spend time visiting with them when picking up or dropping off the children. Although Riley was not quite 100%, and neither was Miss Kitty, thier dispositions improved dramatically. We Had a Winner – or so we thought.

As time went on my Ex decided to purchase a new house. The house is lovely, white carpet and all, however,the neighborhood is not ideal for a dog. There is a main thoroughfare bordering the back of the house and no fence. Between the choas of the new move and the restricted playtime outdoors, Riley was worse then he was when we first divorced. He began continually whining and crying, and suffered severe stomach distress – repeatedly- all over the white carpets. He was just miserable.

Plan D – I took both pets back to my house. Riley settled back in to the routine at home with me, I think becasue he was relieved to be somewhere familiar. Miss Kitty was happy to have both her dog and her lakeside house. Eventually Riley learned to deal with his master’s absence, but it took a while.

Riley still goes to visit his “Dad” once in a while, and that seems to make him happy, but it took a long time to find the right balance.

Remember that pets are emotional beings. They suffer losses and changes, basically grief, just like humans do, but unfortunately we cannot communicate with them the way we can relate to people. When an animal loses a “sibling pet” or a person that’s close to them, it may take a great deal of time to recover. 

Remember to hug your pet today. It will make you both feel better.