A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.

The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog’s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog’s body and finally looks at the vet and meows.

The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too.” The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks.

The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too.”
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes.
The vet answers, “$650.”

“$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaimed the man.

“Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests.”

This was taken from the “Funny Times” and was written in April by Richard Lederer. I found it amusing and wanted to share with all you ‘dog lovers’ out there

Lucky Dogs

Here are a dozen reasons why it’s great to be a dog:

*Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner, or anything else for that matter.

*When it’s raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry about being fired.

*If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public.

*No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older.

*You don’t have to worry about table manners – and there’s no such thing as bad food.

*If you put on weight, it’s somebody else’s fault.

*Who needs a big home entertainment system?

*A bone or an old shoe or a peanut butter jar can entertain you for hours.

*You can spend hours just smelling stuff – and everything smells good.

*It doesn’t take much to make you happy. You’re always excited to see the same old people. All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back.

*April 15th means nothing to you.

*You can sleep late every day.

*You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger’s lap.

Hello,

Below is the contents of an email I have received several times.  The author is unkown. I would like to give credit where credit is due, but to date I have found no one that claims ownership of the diary entries listed below.  Based on the facial expressions and tail wags of my animals, I have to say, the author clearly understands cats and dogs.

So “Kudos” to the author.

 I hope everyone enjoys this as much as I did.

Excerpt from a Dog’s Diary..

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpt from a Cat’s Diary.

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage..

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.  For now………

For great cat and dog themed gifts, visit WhalesDirect.com

Hello!

Welcome to the NEW Whales & Friends blog. Thanks for joining us! ☺ I’m MumblesMom. To fill you all in a little bit on me; I’m a 20 year old college student studying veterinary medicine and I love what I do! As long as I can remember, I have wanted to care for animals, grow up to have a house full of them, and become a vet. My parents tell me this obsession with animals started when I was 5 years old.

I’m thrilled to have this forum to share my passion and I invite everyone to participate. Tell Whales & Friends about your dogs, cats, horses, birds, reptiles, ferrets, snakes or any animal that interests you. Share stories about a recent whale watch, a TV show or documentary on penguins, wolves, lions or tigers. Submit photographs, video clips, a memorial to a lost pet, stories, pet jokes, or just drop in to say “Hi.” Looking forward to hearing from all pet lovers!

Sincerely,
MumblesMom

Do you have a funny joke about animals? We want to hear it. Send us your joke by submitting it to us in the comments section below. But remember… only clean (G-rated) jokes get published.