I have taken my various animals, which have included cats, dogs, ferrets and fish, to several different vets over the years as moving long distance dictated changing veterinary offices. In my experience, there are basically 2 types of these medical professionals.

“The Animal Lover” is a person who has a house full of pets. He or she will sit on the floor to play with your dog until his tail wags with the intensity of jet propulsion and laughs when a nervous pooch accidentally pees on their shoe. They have pockets full of treats that keep your dog’s nose glued to their lab coat. You have the sense that their pockets are always full of treats even when they are not at work. When faced with a terrified cat stuck to the side of a pet carrier with claws bared, this vet will open the door of the carrier, walk to the other side of the room and pretend that the carrier and its hissing contents are not there, allowing the animal to feel a little less threatened. When the  hissing and screeching sounds subside, this type of vet will look into the carrier and speak calmly to the animal.  By the end of the visit, this very put-out pet may or may not be purring, but at least its ears are no longer pinned back in terror and murderous rage, and whatever medical attention was needed has been successfully given.  When taking your vet to “The Animal Lover” you should be prepared to wait a little longer to be seen and understand that you will be there for a while, as this type of vet is frequently running late, not because they are rude or unaware of the importance of time, but because they are conscientious enough to actually spend time talking to you about your pet. They make it a point to answer all your questions without seeming impatient, and do not want you to leave their office until they are sure that you understand your pet’s condition and treatment, and they have answered all your questions.

“Dr. Cranky” aka “Why Did I Become a Vet?” is a person that is having more than just a bad day. They are probably trying to figure out why they spent 7 years in school to care for animals. If they have not questioned this huge life decision then perhaps they should. I have met this type of vet. It was not a pleasant experience for me or my pets, and it clearly was not what the doctor wanted to be doing either. This type has zero patience for a terrified cat or nervous pooch. They run their office in an efficient manner, usually with military precision. They give you and your pet the allotted time scheduled for the appointment and if you still have concerns or questions, well too damn bad, other clients are waiting. When faced with a cat that does not want to come out of a carrier, they turn it upside down and then proceed to reach and tug at the terrified animal until they successfully get it out. That is if you consider it successful when the animal is curled up in the shape of a capitol C with its ears pinned down, its tail puffed up and it’s making noises normally only heard during a Freddy Krueger movie. I shudder to think of the repercussions of an animal peeing on this vet’s shoe. The nervous dog stays nervous the entire time the vet is in the room. Its tail stays between its legs, its head is bowed down and it shakes until your heart breaks watching. The vet appears impatient and put out during the entire visit until the very end. The end of such an appointment can be signaled when the time-share type sales pitch begins as they try to peddle whatever brand of dog food or supplements they are selling. At this point they may actually smile.

If you encounter this type of vet, grab your pet and run, do not walk, out of their office. Tell everyone you know with pets about your experience so that no other pet or owner is subjected to Dr. Cranky.

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